2nd Day after Treatment #12

Today is a beautiful day and I am feeling tired, not very nauseated and very thankful for the very good check-up yesterday with my caring doctor, Dr. Kathleen Paul at the Pearson Cancer Center.  My sister, Margie, my husband Agustin and one of our daughters, Ruthie were also in the room.  I encouraged them not to ask any questions or make any comments until I was finished asking my questions and Dr. Paul was finished giving me the information.   They all understand, because they love me, and they know that my "chemo brain" causes me to loose my train of thought if I am interrupted when speaking with my doctor.  Or at least, that is what I call it.....chemo brain❤
I asked Ruthie (who has CML, a form of leukemia)  to take notes because she is very good at that and one of my advocates in this whole process since she is also a patient of Dr. Paul's and has known her much longer than I have:)
So, here is what she wrote but transcribed by me today in my words and verb tenses: 
 "Dr. Paul arrived and told me of the great response I have had to this chemotherapy. We all hugged her and she us:)   She will do  re-imaging of my liver and pancreas on Aug. 2.   MRI.  She thinks it's going to look great!  Traditional treatment for my cancer is still  doing this type of chemotherapy as long as I am tolerating and responding well which I have!!!!
I told her at that point that my initial chemo counselling and treatment plan states 12 cycles of Folfirinox.  (This treatment is made up of 5 different drugs)  She does understand I wish I could stop, but this is what's saving my life and keeping me alive.  (And that was said in medical terms:)  We all know the Lord numbers our days.   I expressed to her how sick it makes me feel.  She is compassionate.  She asked me about my neuropathy which I have in my hands, my throat (for 3-5 days) and my feet and legs which is all the time.   She decided  to limit my Osaliplatin to help with the numbing and possible other side effects.  So far so good:)
A non-traditional way of treating this cancer at this point would be to have surgery or radiation. She really doesn't recommend surgery!  Radiation does not treat the liver, but would give me a break from chemo.   Dr. Paul did say that insurance won't cover an alternate treatment if the chemo is working.  
Dr. Paul says "YES, go to Colombia" and plan the treatment around our trip!!!
Standard treatment is chemo every 2 weeks (which I haven't been doing anyway)!!  It is very RARE that patients get to 12 cycles and I am doing GREAT!"  It is the strongest and most toxic they give there and she has never given me the highest dose anyway, thank goodness!

So, yesterday she eliminated OSALIPLATIN and that actually took 2 hours off my treatment time there...that was a plus:)   Of course, I googled what that is and the side effects and let's see what happens.
Today I will rest, eat what I can and want and try to keep hydrated. 
This week has been great with meals being delivered again and I so appreciate the friends who have been able to take up Ruthie's and Kathy's offers when asked.
As far as Colombia, I am still contemplating on when and how to do the trip and keep up with treatments and getting the right reservations.  The trip itself is very tiring.  Getting up very early to catch planes and going through the security makes it impossible for us to do it all in one day.  That part of the trip I dread. I realize we can both be in wheel chairs.  (How humbling is that:)  I would like to see our friends and relatives but I would only stay no more than 2 weeks!  So, the trip will have to be split into times of the day and over night accommodations to make it there and back so fatigue won't be overpowering!  Still thinking and praying about this!
Philippians 4:7 (The Voice)
"And know that the peace of God ( a peace that is beyond understanding) will stand watch over your hearts and mind in Jesus, the Anointed One."

Great is Thy Faithfulness

Treatment #11

Last Monday,  I went in for my 11th treatment of Folfirinox.   I was so over the side effects after a 3 week break, I forgot how horrible I would feel, and sure enough, I felt horrible.  What makes me feel the worst is the nausea and the diarrhea.  Actually, only 2 bouts of diarrhea in 2 days isn't  bad when you think about it except for the onslaught when it comes....I won't go into detail about that or the incontinence that plagues me from this chemo which is something I would rather not endure much longer.  Not to speak of the nausea and disgust for food and taste of water for a few days.....oh yes, and after the diarrhea and taking immodium, you get the opposite😖
I was told at the onset that it was a very toxic blend of chemicals and that if I didn't take any chemo, or get some kind of treatment, I would have about 6 months...at least that is what the doctors get from their "statistics".  I was also told I could stop at any time and believe me, this time I thought I wanted to stop, but...."He that shall endure to the end shall be saved"...a crazy way to take a Bible verse out of context, but, I guess I will go to #12, endure it, then get the MRI.  From there I will ask the doctor to look for other ways and send my MRI report and CD to Johns Hopkins for their recommendation for a trial or immunotherapy and whatever my dear doctor recommends.  At this point, I doubt if I will opt for more chemo!!!!  Sometimes I think that is worse than the cancer.
I am continually in awe of how I have reacted to the chemo in shrinking the tumor.   A tumor that was 4 cms and is down to about 1cm  Of course, we are dealing also with the liver.  I do know that this blood work, this week, showed that my tumor marker is now down to 4.76.....when it started out over 4,000+.
Along with the chemo effects, during the hard week, I also experience lack of thinking skills as well.  Sometimes it is even hard to pray.  When I say it is hard to pray, I don't mean that God is not still right beside me, holding me up somehow, but He is also there when I start getting out of the side effects.  
Today, for the first time in many months, I actually sang in the shower a song that sticks with me constantly even though singing is hard much of the time.....I know that the first song I will sing again in church as a solo will be "Great is Thy Faithfulness".  
The summer is going fast and the days are flying by with lots of things to see and do.  I am enjoying my children, grandchildren and friends who have been keeping in touch by email, facebook or visits.  My girls have set up meals to be brought during my "hard" week.  Agustin is always by my side and encouraging me that I am going to get better.  I, deep inside, believe that when God is ready, He will do what His will is and we all have to be willing to accept it.  I have seen recently with friends who are dealing with these same issues, getting better, or getting worse, that we all don't know when our time will come.   I so appreciate all the care and love shown toward me.
I am especially looking forward now to my sister's and George's wedding which will be at Peakland Baptist on August 12.   A grand celebration for them both who have been through so much (the death of their spouses).  Both of their families will be adjusting to lots of new "family members".   George has 4 children and 14 grandchildren, Margie has 3 children and 6 grandchildren.
They both believe the Lord has called them together in love and companionship.  What a precious gift God has given them now to form a new couple at their ages, bringing them together after all these years.                          ❤❤❤