Little vacation from chemo treatment this week

I had such a hard week last week between going into the cancer center  on Wednesday for 2 liters of saline, recuperating from that in time for the barium episode Friday, I asked my doctor if I could take off this week from the chemo and just go next week. She explained my CT scan to me and told me she would like me to have a procedure to check  a thickening in the wall of my rectum!  So today Gastroenterology Associates called to make a consultation appointment.  So thrilling!!!!Always something to keep us all busy and wondering.  
Dr. Paul  told me I could take this week off from chemo if that is what I wanted and I did!  Before I left though, she gave me an IV liter of saline.
And, we had a nice Valentine's Day after all.❤❤❤ Treated to take-outs from Neighbors' Place to lobster for me and steak for Agustin by Ruthie and Bill!
Yesterday and today have been a treat as well.  Went for a walk yesterday, had no diarrhea or nausea and ate well these last few days!.
  It is a real blessing for me to feel "normal" when not under the influence of the chemo.  It raises my spirits, I have more energy which I usually don't have and feel very thankful for this respite.  And, of course, I have not been having pain or bloating at all.  Gracias a Dios!!
This is just a short update!!

Tumor marker and tumor size

So yesterday was the big day for the Computer Tomography scan.  I had to drink 2 bottles of vanilla barium drink starting at 7:30 AM.  We arrived at VABaptist Hospital for a 9:30 AM appointment (arrived at 9AM) which really never got under way until about 10:15AM and took a total of 5 minutes.  Luckily they put the dye in by way of my port, so no wasted time searching for hidden veins for an IV.
I was very relieved when the whole procedure was over and I could go home and drink and eat.  I found out during the scan that I could have had water or even coffee in the AM but they are very picky about those things on the instruction sheet...just no food!!!! Margie drove us my faithful sister, and Agustin is always with me for all the procedures❤.
When I got home, there was discomfort for the afternoon dealing with expelling all the barium and dye but hey, those things are really nothing compared to chemo side effects these days.
Yesterday I was feeling quite good!
I received a returned call from my doctor who really was waiting until Tuesday appointment to share the results of the CT scan.
She told me the tumor has shrunk to 1.9 cm.  It started out beginning of  November about 4 x 3 cm.  So, seems maybe half the size with this particular treatment choice.  That is reassuring!  I thank God for this news.  It has been about 3 months so far.
I do have a problem though, with the way I am dealing with the treatment's side effects.  I have had some very hard days over the past 2 weeks and I have to go through it again starting on Feb. 14 again....Happy Valentines DAY!!!!  Maybe I will convince myself to take a week off and convince my doc:)   I will discuss with my doctor again if there could just be an extra week for recuperation until the next round.  I wonder what she will say and how I will deal with it?
I feel that if I had an extra week of recuperation my attitude and stamina would improve so much.
I admire so many people that I have recently known who are going through worse things than I am.
Which reminds me, the last time I was in for infusions of fluid, 3 days ago, I felt like I was dying inside...weak, lethargic, nauseated, etc.  I would look in the mirror every time I would walk to the restroom with the IV pole and wonder how it would be to be dying.  Then, I told Ruthie one of those times when she accompanied me there, "I think if I were dying, it wouldn't be this bad because I would be full of morphine, and wouldn't even know what was going on anyway:)"   Well, she told her friend Shawn who told her right back,  "you tell your Mom that is what "fighting cancer is".!  I guess as long as you can "fight" it, God is going to see you through and give the relief when necessary.  Meanwhile, today is a beautiful day!
Friends, family and my faithful husband are surrounding me with encouragement, support and good food:)
Most of all, "God is my refuge and strength, a very present help in time of need". Psalm 46:1

No news is good news...

It seems I haven't updated lately  because things were going fairly well .....until last night when i had a setback.
I have to be truthful that I have been having some "down" times lately mostly because I believe the chemo treatment brings you down emotionally, physically and mentally.  How could it not?  Yes, it seems to be doing its job of shrinking the tumor, and we will find out more after the CT scan this coming Friday (well, the doc's appointment next Tuesday when I hear the results)  
But, back to feeling "low" and "down".  I started feeling sad last week.  I started crying more than I had been and so, I asked the doctor for "something" to help, and she recommended an antidepressant.  I have already been taking Ativan at night so I can sleep without waking up and thinking, but this is different.
To make a long story short, I took the first one last night with the ATivan when I went to bed.  Bad choice, but that is hind sight now.  I woke up wide awake about 1:30 AM, could not go back to sleep but started feeling nauseated.  I then, for the next few hours, had bouts of bowel problems, and finally diarrhea about 4 AM and took the Imodium.  After that, I continued to feel badly and by 5, Agustin was massaging my hands and then feet just to relax me.  During this time, I was extremely thirsty and drank a few glasses of water.  I continued to feel ill.
So, we decided about about 7 to have Ruthie call the doctor on call, and Dr. Paul called and said I should come for fluids.  And, I should not take the Lexipro until AM and to skip today!!!
AFter that happened, I decided to eat a little something for breakfast and take my AM bp meds.  Well, one gross one got caught in my throat, started to dissolve and caused me to gag and throw up my breakfast plus all the pills I had just taken.   After that, I was really concerned.
I took a Zofran that dissolves under the tongue.  I still don't like Zofran for the way my head feels but it beats feeling car sick all the way to the cancer center.
When I got there, they took me in and I had 2 liters of fluid but still felt nauseated and hadn't eaten anything.  So, since I didn't want Zofran anymore, they dripped phenergan through the IV and boy, was I a zombee!!!  That puts you to sleep.  So, I was lethargic most of the day.
When i got home, Kathy had gotten me egg drop soup from Andy Chang's and that tasted so good.
I slept very hard and soundly after that, and when the phenergan side effects wore off, and I woke up, I felt much better.
I pray tonight we will both sleep and get some strength for tomorrow...a new day.
So, that was my "no news is good news" episode for the evening.
Two very helpful verses to ponder,  shared recently by our dear friend and former pastor, Nathan Brooks,  are:

Jeremiah 29:11-13  "For surely  I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.  Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you.  When you search for me, you will find me;  if you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me, says the Lord.":

2 Corinthians 12:8-9   "Three times I prayed to the Lord about this, and asked Him to take it away.  His answer was, "My grace is all you need, for my power  is strongest when you are weak. "   I am most happy then, to be proud of any weaknesses, in order to feel the protection of Christ's power over me."