Life Changes and Adjustments

"Twas the last night before Valentines' Day and into the night,

 we were sleeping peacefully until a sudden noise woke me up."

        I thought Agustin was having a nightmare which he never does.  I nudged him and called his name but  he continued to breath in a very distressed, heavy and labored breathing.   I tried to arouse him with nudging and calling his name but he was obviously not responding.  To make it much worse, he was in a stiff position, his whole body, lying on his side and his mouth was clamped shut on his tongue which I could see between his lips.  NO RESPONSE!  I had never seen anyone in this distress and thought it was a stroke.  It obviously was not a bad dream when he could not be aroused.   It was a seizure!
         I immediately called 911 and the operator told me to stay on the line until they got there and also asked questions and told me to keep him on his side...at least he was on his side already!
I was not feeling well at all myself because I take an Ativan before I go to bed.  I couldn't imagine getting dressed and going to the hospital.  I was so tired and stressed.  
          I texted the kids just to let them know when they got up what was going on.  It was about 1:30 AM. Ruthie wrote right back because she was up with William (he was low and has Type 1) and she would be glad to come over.  When she got here the ambulance was still here.
         Well, when the paramedics came in, Agustin was still in the episode and they couldn't rouse him either.   They did their exam, hooked him up to whatever and said they were taking him to the ER.  He still had no idea what was going on nor was he conscious.  
           It was very difficult for them to get him on the stretcher because still being in the side position and so stiff, he couldn't take directions and they had trouble "bending" him.  WE are wondering how he hurt his right shoulder and left knee and assume getting through the doorways is the only way this could have happened.  They gave him Versed which calmed him down but he had no idea what had happened and why he was at the hospital.
          Ruthie went with him to the hospital, stayed all night and into half the next day (Valentine's Day).  Kathy then Paul came to relieve her.   I was so thankful for them since they didn't want me going into the hospital nor did I feel up to going there and dealing with everything that had to be dealt with.
          Agustin was in there from Thursday AM until Saturday. 
          I have not been feeling well at all lately.  Very tired and have abdominal and back pains.  My tumor marker has skyrocketed from 147 to 875 in just a month,  So, my Doctor scheduled another CT scan which showed very little change in the tumors as far as just growing very little.  However one little lesion has showed up in the liver which is new.  Along with all of this, I have been dealing with a few nose bleeds.  Never a dull moment.
          I did not take chemo this last week as was scheduled.   Next Monday, I will go into the cancer center for "Chemo Counselling" for a new pill we will try called Lynparza.   It works on the DNA on the tumors.  
          I thank all my friends and acquaintances who pray for us.  WE are very grateful for this encouragement and also for the gifts of meals.  
          To be honest, I have felt very "out of it" for praying myself.  Not that I don't believe or trust.  I do trust and believe that God is in control and loves us.  I just don't have the concentration these days to pray over a long period of time!  A friend of ours always puts it, "I will prayerfully think of you."   That is how I feel now.  When I think of you I will try to remember to pray for you:):):)  
            I appreciate the prayers for my dear family who keep us going.  We have now have some Home Health Care in place and that will help a lot.    Meanwhile, we are "hanging in" with the daily "nitty-gritty" of dealing with taking care of each other. 💓💪

Time for Another Update from Month #28

      If I have counted accurately, I was diagnosed some 28 months ago with pancreatic cancer and was told by my doctor that I had a healthy body (except for that) and probably could tolerate the strongest chemo available for me.  So, I went for it and I am still around to write in my "blog" about my journey.
      I never thought that I would be writing about a "journey" with cancer and cancer treatment, but God has led me down this path or up, depending how you look at it.
      The latest report is that my tumor marker has gone way up since the last check.  In fact, it has gone up to 872 from about 147 in the last month. 
      Now, according to what I have been told or have read, tumor markers are not always accurate in exactly what they show and can come from different reasons in your body and in your chemistry or chemicals that are being put into your body.
      So, with that, and also finding out a few weeks ago from a CT scan which should be more accurate than the tumor marker test, my tumors are still small even though my tumor marker has gone up so fast and soon.
       I know that soon I will be changing treatments again, this time may be the final change, at least the way I see it.  That is, the change that may take me into the hospice care if it no longer works.   It will be a pill called Lynparza which I wrote about in the last entry!  This deals with the specific DNA I have in my pancreatic tumors which are also the same in my lungs!
       So far, these days, I am still feeling relatively "healthy" even though I have more fatigue than I used to.  I have also gained a lot of weight which obviously doesn't help with ones heart and respiration.  I assume that the weight gain comes from the chemicals I am given and eating more often.  I also was holding a lot more water in my system from one of the chemo combinations.  If all this can be controlled again, I will be a "happy camper" within the time frame I have.   
       I notice that my mental attitude is greatly influenced by the weather, friend and relative visits, the attention and activity that goes on in the family and the life around me.
       I have taken up knitting now again in my "old age" and it is so much fun knitting hats and hoping my kids and others may be able to enjoy them.
       I also have watched many Netflix movies and read some books as I sit too much these days.
       I know that as Spring comes and then Summer, I will be more active and be able to swim again more often.   I have not been exercising as is supposed to be so helpful but maybe I can beat this Winter weather and get back into the "swing" of things before I get too bogged down by my condition.  
       I notice that when I start to get feeling "down" or negative about what will be happening eventually, I can pray to the Lord sincerely and openly and He relieves me almost immediately.  He lets me see and know that He is there and provides for me an "out", a small thing that may come up to help me through.  Thank you Lord for keeping me going!
       I am looking forward to our new little granddaughter who will be born in a few weeks, mid March, to Hailey and Paul.  What a gift "to hold a newborn baby and feel the pride and joy she gives".  "But greater still the calm assurance, this child can face uncertain days because He lives.   Because He lives I can face tomorrow, because He lives all fear is gone.  Because I know He holds the future, and life is worth the living just because He lives."  (Words by Gloria and Bill Gaither)
        I also look forward to June when our second grandson, Andrew Brandt, will graduate from high school.  How proud and happy we are for him and his accomplishments.
Traducir al español de Google:
       Si conté con precisión, hace unos 28 meses me diagnosticaron cáncer de páncreas y mi médico me dijo que tenía un cuerpo sano (a excepción de eso) y que probablemente podría tolerar la quimioterapia más fuerte disponible para mí. Entonces, fui a por ello y todavía estoy aquí para escribir en mi "blog" sobre mi viaje.

      Nunca pensé que estaría escribiendo sobre un "viaje" con el cáncer y el tratamiento del cáncer, pero Dios me ha guiado por este camino o hacia arriba, dependiendo de cómo lo mires.

      El último informe es que mi marcador tumoral ha subido mucho desde la última revisión. De hecho, ha subido a 872 de aproximadamente 147 en el último mes.

      Ahora, de acuerdo con lo que se me ha dicho o leído, los marcadores tumorales no siempre son precisos en lo que muestran exactamente y pueden provenir de diferentes razones en su cuerpo y en su química o sustancias químicas que se están introduciendo en su cuerpo.

      Entonces, con eso, y también descubriendo hace unas semanas de una tomografía computarizada que debería ser más precisa que la prueba del marcador tumoral, mis tumores aún son pequeños, aunque mi marcador tumoral ha subido muy rápido y pronto.

       Sé que pronto volveré a cambiar los tratamientos, esta vez puede ser el cambio final, al menos como lo veo. Es decir, el cambio que me puede llevar al cuidado de hospicio si ya no funciona. ¡Será una píldora llamada Lynparza sobre la que escribí en la última entrada! ¡Esto se relaciona con el ADN específico que tengo en mis tumores pancreáticos que también son los mismos en mis pulmones!

       Hasta ahora, en estos días, todavía me siento relativamente "saludable", aunque tengo más fatiga que antes. También he ganado mucho peso, lo que obviamente no ayuda con el corazón y la respiración. Supongo que el aumento de peso proviene de los productos químicos que recibo y que estoy comiendo más a menudo. También estaba conteniendo mucha más agua en mi sistema de una de las combinaciones de quimio. Si todo esto se puede controlar de nuevo, seré un "campista feliz" dentro del período de tiempo que tengo.

       Me doy cuenta de que mi actitud mental está muy influenciada por el clima, las visitas de amigos y familiares, la atención y la actividad que se desarrollan en la familia y la vida que me rodea.

       He vuelto a tejer de nuevo en mi "vejez" y es muy divertido tejer sombreros y esperar que mis hijos y otros puedan disfrutarlos.

       También he visto muchas películas de Netflix y he leído algunos libros mientras me siento demasiado en estos días.

       Sé que cuando llegue la primavera y luego el verano, seré más activa y podré nadar más a menudo. No he estado haciendo ejercicio, ya que se supone que es de mucha ayuda, pero tal vez pueda superar este clima invernal y volver al "giro" de las cosas antes de que me atasque mi condición.

       Me doy cuenta de que cuando empiezo a sentirme "abatido" o negativo acerca de lo que ocurrirá con el tiempo, puedo orar al Señor con sinceridad y abiertamente, y Él me libera casi de inmediato. Él me deja ver y saber que Él está allí y me proporciona una "salida", una pequeña cosa que puede surgir para ayudarme a salir adelante. ¡Gracias Señor por mantenerme en marcha!

       Espero con ansias a nuestra nueva nieta que nacerá en unas pocas semanas, a mediados de marzo, de Hailey y Paul. Qué regalo "para sostener a un bebé recién nacido y sentir el orgullo y la alegría que ella da". "Pero aún más tranquilo, este niño puede enfrentar días inciertos porque Él vive. Porque Él vive, puedo enfrentarlo mañana, porque todo el miedo se fue. Porque sé que Él tiene el futuro, y la vida vale la pena vivir solo porque El Vive." (Palabras de Gloria y Bill Gaither)


        También espero con ansias a junio, cuando nuestro segundo nieto, Andrew Brandt, se graduará de la escuela secundaria. Qué orgullosos y felices estamos por él y sus logros.