June 30, 2018

Today is a new day. 
I listened last night to Sarah Gosnell's live video and her update and thoughts.  She is a young cancer survivor and fighter.  Her faith has brought her so far through so many hurdles that I doubt I could go through, but her will to live and her young, fighter spirit, led by the Lord, her Maker and Redeemer, has brought her this far.  She has her normal doubts and fears as any of us!
I actually know another young mother, Katherine Broadway,  with the same kind of Spirit directing her life with all its doubts and fears with cancer.  She too has been through so much with chemo, radiation and surgery.  She now takes a pill that is "holding" her cancer in place.  God is giving her length of days to live a productive life.
  Both of these young women have young children that the Lord has given them to rear and to love.
Both of these wonderful young ladies believe God is in control of their lives and they pray for healing.   We don't know what the future holds for any of us.  These young women love their families and their children and  cannot help but think about their futures.
When I hear about older people with cancer, their pain, their struggles and trips to the cancer centers for chemo, radiation, or the hospital for surgery, the future seems a little different for them(us).  They have led their lives cancer free up until this point and God will take each one of us from something, that is for sure.
But, I do see no reason not to pray for healing in all of these cases.  Yes, if it is God's will, but, it is God's will that He wants our trust and our hope in Him daily in all our thoughts and actions.  This is a real challenge when we face negative thoughts about life away  from our loved ones.  But, isn't continued life with the Lord  after our bodily deaths supposed to be the ultimate future in God's plan for us as believers?
We just have to focus on His Purity, His Power, His Love and His Will for our daily renewal and hope, and He will be with us through the storm, "in the boat" (Matt. 8:23-27~Jesus Asleep in the Boat During the Storm) and in all He has blessed us with in life as we have it here on earth, for a time.
Here is a long article for those of us facing the unknown...probably that applies to all of us whether or not we are cancer patients.


If God Doesn't Heal You

Which Patients Should Undergo Genetic Testing?

Which Patients Should Undergo Genetic Testing?
This is a very interesting article to be shared with my immediate family, including all of those in my extended family. 

A New Week, A New Beginning

Today is Monday, June 11, 2018!
     After going through the week of "pitfalls", I am happy to report I am much better from all the situations from last week.
I think that the second week after chemo, even though I am not having "side effects" like the week of, directly from the chemo, my whole attitude was "down" because the setbacks were working on me mentally.
     So, I am thankful for this week coming up.  Feeling much better.
Today I went swimming and the supermarket, and have more energy and more hopefulness than I did last week.  I felt "down" all week.  I just have to remember these things and keep them in perspective when they happen.
I even chose today what I will sing on Sunday.  I haven't sung for many months publicly but I have sung out on the hymns at church, so I know I can.  I just have to watch the energy level and not overdue.  That is why I chose a medley arranged by Fettke of 2 "old" hymns and the range is perfect...
     I am very thankful for all the people who think about it and then pray for me.  I don't usually "ask" for prayer because I know that the Spirit moves in those who think and pray for me.  But I surely know that my physical improvement is because God's plan for me to still to be around "functioning".
     I have not written on this particular entry since Monday, but I have written a prayer for my colleague and friend, Michael Stairs, who is facing hospice care now.  It will come to all of us cancer patients at some point unless God takes us another way.
     A favorite psalm which comes to mind that I used to sing is by MacDermid, "He That Dwelleth in the Secret Place"....Psalm 91.  Actually not sure if I recorded it or not...wish I had:):)

Little Pitfalls Along the Way

     Just a little update about the "little pitfalls along the way".   Several days ago I came down with an eye infection that looks now like someone punched me in the eye.  It is basically a stye which I have had before, but not like this and not in this eye.   The amusing part of this is that my brother-in-law George and my sister Margie have both had eye infections lately for one diagnoses or another and have both been on meds. 

    So, the other day, I woke up with a pain between my nose and my left eye and redness and swelling curving down around my cheek bone (like where swim goggles curve).  When I went to my eye doc, she said it was a stye.  I was surprised because I could not see that but I did have pain.  She surmised that maybe I might have MRSA (??) and so prescribed a medicine which I never want to see again called Clindamycin...  I took one pill last night and thought my whole upper GI tract was on fire, plus, I had the worst indigestion for several hours.   I did take it with lots of water and I ate with it.  I took Mylanta a few hours later and finally got to sleep after midnight.            This morning, after breakfast, low and behold, severe intestinal pains happened in my lower abdomen before an onslaught of you-know-what.  Since then, I have not taken any more and no matter what, will NEVER EVER take that again.  Chemo on my insides is enough without aggravating my insides with THAT HORRIBLE PILL plus my hiatal (sp) hernia too?

     So, now she has put me on Keflex.   I guess I will have to tell my oncologist all of this.  Off and on all day, I am still feeling the effects of that one horrible pill!

    The second little "pitfall", besides the eye infection and the indigestion, is that I am now going for 4 weeks, twice a week, for some kind of water, electrode therapy that is supposed to help my numbness in my feet.  Well, if I am in the 50 percentile of good results, it will work.  If not, we just don't do it anymore.  I think insurance gives you 8 treatments to find out if it works.  So far, I don't see a difference:(

     Well, I always remember my mother saying when you get old, you spend most of your time at doctor's appointments:)

      Meanwhile, I always have to remind myself that we have to take each day as a gift and when something comes up to "trip" us along the way, it is how we handle it. 
    So, here is how modern day😄 Jeremiah(?) says it in The Message in Lamentations 3:22-24

     "God's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up.  They're created new every morning.  How great your faithfulness.  I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).  He is all I've got left."

Reflections today

  It is the first Sunday in June, 2018, and I will not venture forth to church this morning simply because I am recuperating from the 27th (?) round of chemo (Folfirinox for pancreatic cancer) from Tuesday.
   So I have been reflecting this morning on what I have just been through again...I go through it every 3-4 weeks and wonder again why and how.  Then, the lyrics of an old hymn came through my head, and it brought me back to "life".  Well, as a matter of fact, after going through the nausea, weakness and yes, terrible pain and diarrhea from the chemo, I am feeling much better today.        The pain and diarrhea lasts maybe 1 hour, and then I am starting to "heal" again.  It is a cycle.  The nausea and weakness lasts a few days and is finally "expelled" through the diarrhea as I see it.  Then, the weakness continues, but, after 5-7 days, I am feeling "myself" again.   The cycle continues as I continue the therapy.
    So, this morning this old hymn phrase started going through my head.  I am grateful for Google since, even if I type in a phrase, it comes up with the whole text, and here it is:  "some through the waters, some through the flood, some through the fire, but all through the blood"..... of course, we always apply life to our circumstances which seems a little selfish, but then, we are selfish when it comes to our feelings and heart aches.  So, I looked up the hymn and it is called, "God Leads Us Along".   I don't particularly care for the tune, but, I read the lyrics and applied it to myself of course.
    I had just experienced another round of "going through the fire, the flood, the waters, and great sorrow" so to speak!   (Exaggeration but applicable:)  Of course  I realize that my situation is not like many who are going through much worse than I am, but, it helps me to realize that "God gives the song in the night season and all the day long".   Literally, this is poetry based on Isaiah 43:2!   "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you"!
    It is true, this chemo passes you mentally and physically "through the waters", through the hard part of wondering why we have to go through pain and suffering, but, this morning, I have gone through it once again, and here to tell the tale:):):)
    God has brought me safely through another round, and I have 2 weeks to look forward to feeling well, participating in regular daily activities. 
Thank you Lord for once again showing me your ways.