Coming off chemo (not for the "faint hearted")

     It has been a rough week as far as chemo reactions.  I was totally hoping that I would react the same way I did 4 weeks ago when I didn't have chemo for 4 weeks, but, alas, that did not happen the way I thought it might.   Don't get me wrong, I am always very thankful for the good quality of life which I am given in the meantime😊
      I had chemo on Monday, Sept. 18, 2 days before our 48th wedding anniversary and by our "big" day, I was not at all feeling well .  To the contrary!   I had nausea, everything tasted gross and I just had to lay around and watch Netflix😐  
     I went in Wednesday to the cancer center to have the pump removed but about an hour before we left, I had a terrible episode of what I call vasovagal "attack".   I am self diagnosing. 
     It starts with extreme pain in my lower abdomen, running to the toilet, feeling very faint, weak, nauseated and like diarrhea is on the way.  I also get pale!  Before anything happens, I have to run to my bed, lie down (all the while moaning and groaning in pain and weakness with no control).   The first time this happened this week, Ruthie was on her way over to take me to have the pump off and she quickly read on her phone what to do and elevated my legs, which helped right away.  Agustin took my blood pressure a lot which started out very low:   106 over 61, pulse 41.  Gradually it rose within a half hour and I was able to relieve the pain in my abdomen.   I was weak the rest of the day, had fluids at the cancer center and rested all day.....HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US❤❤❤
      Thursday I was weak all day, ate a little since eating helps get over nausea, but I am a very picky eater too when I am in "chemo funk"  (my new phrase:)
       Friday, I was scheduled again for fluids if I felt I needed it.  I got up and felt really good.  I ate probably more than I should have at one time for breakfast (I am supposed to eat small meals 6 times a day:), and Ruthie was supposed to pick us up early (9:30AM) to go to cancer center.  She herself had to have a Ferritin infusion.  Ruthie has CML, Chronic Myeloid Leukemia.  (Ferritin is a blood cell protein that contains iron.  If it gets low, it indicates your body's iron stores are low and you have iron deficiency.) 
       To my dismay, again, the same thing happened....sudden terrible intestinal pain, and Vasavagal symptoms again.   This time, I was aware of what to do.   I laid on my bed, elevated my legs and waited for, this time, the onslaught of diarrhea big time.  After that, everything returned to "normal" as far a blood pressure and relief of the pain.  I was very thankful I went in for fluids and feel that I was getting dehydrated and thus the "attack".
       What can my old body stand anyway?   Between the  rare attacks of atrial fibrilation (described for you in detail on my "blog" of  "Week After Chemo #12....)
        Please don't get me wrong, but, maybe someone will need this knowledge of my reactions to chemo someday.😅 
       Meanwhile, it helps me to write this to remind myself of how to handle things when they reoccur😌
      All week I have been singing to myself a song called "He Touched Me" by Bill Gaither.
      So, again, I post a  recording made about 4 years ago:)  I am looking forward to meeting a new surgeon at UVA on Friday, Sept. 29, which may just give me an opportunity for removing the tiny tumor and keep me from having any more chemo in a less invasive procedure.   Wouldn't that be  a "miracle"?  
The Gospel of Mark 41:1   "Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out His hand and touched the man."

https://vimeo.com/69133443

      

Always something new to research....

    This has been a good week.  Why?   Because my platelets were too low to have chemo.☺   This may seem like a "minus", but it is a "plus" for me.   
     I was able to swim  several times this week which, evidently, made me feel like I was in the "ice cube challenge", but hey, even though the water was freezing, the weather was gorgeous and the neuropathy in my feet just "understood" I was "treating them" to a new therapy:)  ☺☺☺  Normally, I would never go swimming in such frigid water, but this week the exercise took priority.  (Actually, last week, a very generous neighbor of Ruthie's and Bill's let me swim in her heated pool for which I was grateful:)

     Another "plus" this week is that I got to go to the "famous" Thomas Road Baptist Church Thursday night and attend a special book signing service with our daughter Ruthie and our granddaughter, Sarah.  The book, Beauty Marks, is newly published by Linda Barrick.  It tells about their family's life after the tragic car accident when they were hit by a drunk driver who was going at high speed.  This happened in 2006 not too far from  us on Waterlick Rd.  Mrs. Barrick was left for months with injuries which limited her to a wheel chair, and their daughter, Jen, had to have many surgeries and rehab plus still has therapy for memory loss.  She was 15 years old at the time.
      It was inspiring once again to hear their story and how this has changed their lives on the journey to emotional, physical and spiritual restoration.   Forgiveness and love within God's strength are priorities in their journeys and they share about the miracles of healing in their own lives. 
     Tuesday, I went in for my appointment with Dr. Paul and we discussed about surgery and other options for my situation.   I told her that I was going to have a consultation with a very prominent new surgeon at UVA who does robotic surgery.  (He recently did an emergency liver transplant in one of our friends).   I have looked online for robotic distal pancreatectomy and found that if I qualify, a robot (directed by a human of course:):) would explore with less invasion of my abdomen and less risk of infection.  Since we have not discussed this at all with any surgeon yet other than at Johns Hopkins, I cannot really explain  the process or my eligibility.  So far, I still have the option of Johns Hopkins invasive trial surgery.            As my oncologist pointed out, I am such a good candidate for this, they wouldn't have told me to have it unless they really believed I would do well with it!    Reassuring in some ways:):)
     Meanwhile, my tumor marker is down again, now at  2.93.  It just makes me think of how this chemo has affected my pancreas tumor and what other solutions are out there to get rid of it safely☺☺☺Therefore, I think back to these verses by David so many years ago in:
    Psalm 139:13-16  (from "the Message" translation)

OH yes [God], you shaped me first inside, then out;

you formed me in my mother's womb.

I thank you, High God---you are breathtaking!

Body and soul, I am marvelously made!

I worship in adoration---what a creation!

You know me inside and out,

you know every bone in my body;

You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,

how I was sculpted from nothing into something.

Like an open book, you watched me grow from 

conception to birth;

all the stages of my life were spread out before you,

The days of my life all prepared

before I'd even lived one day."

..."Hope in Your Heart and You'll Never Walk Alone"

It is Tuesday, Sept. 5, 2017, and I am thankful for this beautiful day with HOPE in my heart.   I may try to find that song I have recorded somewhere to post, but in the meantime, I will just remember the lyrics.

When You Walk Through the Storm, 
Hold Your Head up High,

And don't be afraid of the dark,

At the end of the storm is a golden sky, 
and the sweet silver song of a lark,

Walk on through the wind, Walk on through the rain,

Though your dreams be tossed and blown.

Walk on, Walk on with Hope in your heart,
 and you'll never walk alone,

You'll never walk alone.    (Rodgers & Hammerstein)

      This sounds like a Bible verse, doesn't it?    It is not.  It is from a musical called "Carousel".

      Anyway, as far as updates go, the last chemo, last Tuesday did not produce as bad side effects as other treatments...not sure why:)   But thanks and praise goes to the Lord for continuing my life here as it is!   Also, thankful for the volunteers who bring meals to our house during the week of my chemo.  Our daughters are always on alert for volunteers:)  

      Plus, my tumor marker was down  to 3.75...the lowest it has ever been.

       I am actually still  exploring other options for my situation.   I have found out from a good friend who just had a liver transplant at UVA that UVA is actually using robotic surgery  for this kind of surgery.  Less invasive and less risks involved with infection.  Just exploring that right now:)  Charlottesville is so much closer than Baltimore ✌

      Meanwhile, I will stay on course with the current treatment with my oncologist's recommendation and the Johns Hopkins experts as they see it.