Pancreatic Cancer

Today is Nov. 1, 2016.   It is about 4 AM.  I slept well while I slept but now, as I laid in bed, thinking, I had to get up and write.  This may help me get through this:)  I haven't written in this blog for years.   But, here goes.  Yesterday, Halloween, I found out I have pancreatic cancer.   I don't know yet what that involves, but I do know that it is usually fatal with most victims in a short time.  I don't know how long I have to live and i dont' know how much money we don't have that it would take to lengthen my life.  And this is the point.  Does one make oneself comfortable, stay home with family and friends, and take care of last minute things in life as one option?   Or, does one pursue the best treatments, the best therapy and the best that the world has to give to lengthen ones' life for another few years?
I am 75 years old.  I have had a wonderful life.  I have been blessed with a faithful and loving husband, three wonderful children who are dedicated to their families and grandchildren who are the most loving and generous grandchildren anyone could have.  I have always been grateful for the opportunities in my life and work that have transcended my own expectations as far as helping people, singing for people, studying aspects of life and music that have come my way with caring people.
I have been blessed with God's peace through a faith in Christ that is supposed to carry me through the next phase to eternal life..   the better country. 
The transition is what really gives us the most fear and anxiety.  How do we deal with that?  How far can we take our lives here on earth before we go completely bankrupt materially speaking?
On the one hand, I don't think it is fair to subject my family and life to lengthening its expenses so far that everyone else, as generous as they may want to be, to consider all the money it will take to prolong my life.  On the other hand, I want to do God's will as far as either extending my life or shortening my earthly life here.
This is my prayer.  Right now, my prayer is confused and sad and uncertain.   I have loved and I will continue to love those in my life who care about me.   I want them not to fear my departure but to help me depart in peace without feeling guilty about what choices I make.
Please Lord, hear this, my prayer. Please Lord, show me your way without anxiety and fear.  Give me peace at the last and give my family peace at the last.  Goodness knows, we all need it.