High Times and Low Times

Today is the day the Lord has made and we are supposed to rejoice and be glad in it.
Yesterday was a hard and tiring day for me.  I had a very bad night's sleep with chills and extreme thirst.   It was due to a combination of not eating much, and maybe not drinking enough, who knows?  I also had abdominal pain which comes when I am very tired and I was.  I took 1000mg of Tylenol and drank a few bottles of water and some cider which I love, and that really helped:)
Anyway, the real challenge was thinking could I or could I not make it up to UVA to find out what was going on exactly inside of me, mainly my pancreas.
Before we left, I was still so tired and emotional, not even thinking I could get up out of bed and do the drive...but, after a deeply heartfelt prayer around my bed with my daughters and husband and a lot of tears, I got up, had the energy to get ready and my dear sister drove Agustin and me up to UVA Cancer Center where I found out what the MRI showed.
It showed a tumor in the middle of the pancreas, 3X2 cms. with a metastatic spread in 2 very small locations on the liver.  Non operable.
I asked several questions about life expectancy, options, etc.   I was tired and just wanted to get out and get home and get into my bed.
We talked a lot on the way home about different options and different outcomes, all of which would not be cured at all with chemo, maybe life expectancy lengthened, but not for long.
Today is a new day in my short life.  How can I face it?    Questions that come into my mind and do have  answers but not necessarily decisions:)    Do I want to try to extend my life with chemo effects which could or could not work to shrink the tumor but not eliminate it, or, do I want to have some quality of short life left with drugs to sustain me only.   Big questions with answers I already feel inside me.
The next step for the medical field is a biopsy of the tumor which will tell what kind it is and tell the oncologist what kind of chemo would work best on that type.   What do I want to do is still in the questioning frame of the whole picture.
I love my family dearly and I am praying for them since they are the ones who have to go through this loving and leaving phase of life and death and are all overwhelmed today.  I am overwhelmed just thinking about the process and not the outcome.  The outcome is truly with my Creator and Redeemer. The Holy Spirit gives me this assurance but, hey, none of us will truly know that "peace" until we arrive into it:)  I somehow will be very relieved after going through what I have heard would be worth the release into Glory!!!
I need a verse for today.   I guess it will be in the form of 2 verses from a famous hymn I love.  "How Firm a Foundation". An 18th century hymn from Rippon's Selection of Hymns, 1787

2 "Fear not, I am with you, O be not dismayed,
for I am your God, and will still give you aid;
I'll strengthen you, help you, and cause you to stand,
upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

3 "When through the deep waters I call you to go,
the rivers of sorrow shall not overflow,
for I will be with you in trouble to bless,
and sanctify to you your deepest distress.